Obsessions

Hey everyone.

It's been awhile. But, I'm back.

There are parts of being a writer that I love. I love the way people react when you tell them that you're working on a book. I love fantasizing about who would play my characters if it ever got turned into a movie. I love the haze of being in the zone when everything comes naturally, and finally you feel like you haven't just written a pile of shit.

But, on the other hand, there are a lot of things that I don't like about being a writer. I don't like the look I get when I tell people that yes, this is really what I want to do with the rest of my life. I also really hate the obsessing with how other people have accomplished writing their books.

I have a minimal amount of hope that I am not alone in this. Ever since I started writing in 3rd grade, I became interested in how authors not only achieved publication and success, but how they were able to actually write and complete a book.

I took classes in college, I went to events where authors spoke, I took notes and did all the things I was supposed to do, but as soon as I was in front of the computer or the yellow pad, it seemed like all of that studying had gone to waste.

I had characters, an idea, something that resembled a plot, and yet I was hitting road block after road block. I could complete a manuscript, but there were so many holes in it that it was about as useful as telling a story as a sieve was at holding water. 

Even now, as I'm preparing to write something new, I have a tab open already that says "writing process" because I want to know how other writers write.

It seems like a pointless question. Presumably, writers write by writing. And yet, I have felt myself drawn to a more visual representation of my story in hopes it will help the words flow.

But really, what this is, is procrastination. 

Please send help.

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